I Don’t Own Land

July 20, 2015

Land is surely the most valuable physical resource in a country where war and civil strife is prevalent. its value can depreciate but with an ever growing population, its value is and will most likely always rise. Land does not is one investment where the risks are supposed to be very low. So it’s safe to say that investing in land is one sure way of keeping your hard earned savings in a permanent place.
As villages develop into towns and towns expand into cities the previously neglected lands start selling like hot cake and suddenly everyone wants a piece of the pie. Speculators start speculating, sellers start selling and buyers start buying. Demand is a given, but supply is static.  That being the case some people with no lands also start to sell. They sell what they do not have and the buyers buy what the seller could not sell and that’s when trouble begins.
With registered land chances of one losing one’s land through a forgery are minimized. But in a country where over 50% of the land is unregistered, both the land owners and the prospective buyers are at a risk. As a young man you dream of buying a plot of land setting up a house and starting a family there. So you save every penny half starve yourself, stay home most Friday nights basically almost cease to exist on the social scene. So now you have saved enough and so you would like to put your dream into reality. You contact a few land brokers but prices are so prohibitive even those several kilometers from town. What’s one to do? You ask around and good news there is some land somewhere along Busabala Road. You rush to meet this seller who is offering land in your price range you are so excited you see the land and like it, its location and neighborhood. You elect to take it up. But first you need to know you owns it so you ask for the land title. The expression you get is for world cup. The broker, seller e.t.c look at you like you are from Mars. You have no idea why! Unknown to you, you are the only one in Jerusalem who does not know that Jesus is risen.
Realizing that you are totally clueless, the broker takes you aside and narrates to you how all the land in that area is Kabaka’s land and how he thought that it’s a known fact. You understand that it’s difficult to establish the true ownership and so you leave that deal. The broker is furious and demands for his commissions. Even when you don’t like the land the rule is that you have to pay the broker to compensate for his time. You are furious but nothing to be done you part with a cool Ugx 100k for no work done. You remember the trials and tribulations of getting a rental soon after school where you had to pay like over 5 brokers before you could land on a rental in a habitable state.
What to do what to do? You are like to hell with Kampala land so you decide to try your luck in Mbarara. To your shock it’s not different either there. Almost all the land that is not owned either by the church or the municipal council or companies is unregistered. You are told that this is how the system works and that an agreement from the seller is all it takes to transfer the land. This seems very risky, but you need the land. What’s one got to do?

A sweet disaster

July 20, 2015

In a Christian country or may be religious is the better term, considering that a significant number of people are more religious than Christian ok this is now confusing. Can one be Christian and not religious? Well enough of that. What I wanted to say before I got distracted is that or is it was that? Well, was or is that in Christianity polygamy is a sin. Is a sin a crime and are all crimes sins. Polygamous Christians commit a sin when they take up more than two wives ok so why is the plural of wife not wifes, the English need to explain how their language works. How many married Christians visit more than their wife’s bed? How many? Huh? … so why is polygamy not operationalized or is the right word legalised. And by the way, why are the priests not allowed to marry. We all know that chastity is a myth. May be there are some people that are chaste. Not all. And is one still chaste if they masturbate? What do the wives of a priest call each other since they are not officially wives in the true sense of the word Co-cohabits? Or girlfriends but they no longer qualify as girls?  Let’s use wifes, yes? Ok this is not a word but it looks like a word so yes I pronounce it a word. Who defines words as official? Is there like a supreme court of grammar? I know of words now that were not official a few years back. Who decided and decreed their existence? Why were they nonexistent a few years back? If these words evolved why can’t Christianity evolve?
Back to where we were … once upon a time in a not so far land there lived a little boy whose dream was to be like one of those people who used to pass by their home riding those fine machines. And so the young man decided he was going to be like that man when he grew up. Blah blah blah. You see, motorcycles were a preserve of the anointed few.
He is now grown up and his dream came true. Yes! dreams don’t only come true in movies and blogs but in real life as well as was the case with this little boy. This is not fictions I don’t write fiction, am not a fictional writer, I am a live being. The priest was loved by all and you know why? He was lovely and loveable and so he was loved and he too loved to love so love was in the air. The air around the parish was scented with love. And everyone was happy, the nuns, the female cooks and all. But love is strange, it’s selfish it does not want to be shared. It traps you it devours you it can break you and it can also embarrass you. It can bring president Bill down. On his knees I mean. That was quite a sweet scandal I suppose. There was this particular “love”, sweet brown beauty don’t ask me how I know that she was sweet. But sweet she was and tasty. Is that possible? Shiiii! In this case it was. I am the one telling the story. This beauty worked as secretary at the parish. Kalaani! That’s the word that’s used. She wore long (usually white) skirts and soft little blouses. Hmm seems bras were scarce those days, you could see clearly the …. Ok I am drifting from the story. The priest would make it a point to pass by the window of the secretary’s office every morning. To give her instructions but we all know he did not have to do this personally. But do this himself he still did. I knew why, he could not resist nor miss a day without looking at her, actually her chest. Oh that pointy little chest. Oh that chest, I would take the whole day just ogling them. Good thing she loved the attention her chest received. I was therefore never in trouble for indulging my eyes. Can we just say the secretary’s chest pierced through the priest’s heart and so began the secret (-ary) relationship herein after called the secretaryship.
This is how it all began, it was one lazy rainy Saturday afternoon, there was paper work to be completed for Sunday service or something, my memory fails me. Most of the parish workers were off duty and there was an air of quiet around the hill. The nuns were all back at the convent. It was the priest and the secretary who were around that whole day. He passed by her office window the allure was particularly stronger this cold lonely day. He had no power to resist this temptation and he but gave in to it. He invited her into his room for take some tea. There is no harm in sharing some tea, is there? Not always. There was in this case, you see the tea was to be taken in the priests room. The problem or the good thing depending on how one looks at it, was that there was a bed in his room. A warm bed! Actually his room was basically a bedroom. You know like those bed sitters we had at campus. May be you did not have one but you get it, yes? OK! You see, it’s not wise to put a boy and a girl in a room where there is a bed, especially when they are unmarried, hot blooded and sexually starved. That’s a recipe for sweet wet disaster.
That, my friends, is how the secretaryship began or started or commenced or whatever suits. But there was a problem. This priest had someone else from his previous deployment. The two only met outside the parish premises and did this so cleverly that no one else knew about it, except me of course! I have to get back to work, so I will summarize the story.
When the young secretary learns of the priest’s old flame, she plots on overthrowing her. It’s now two secretaries vying for the priest’s affection. It’s no long the case of a sole secretary. First she has to convince the priest that surely twenty nine years must be too long and he must be tired of tasting the same fruit, that the fruit must be tired as well and the time is ripe to pluck a new fruit. It’s now a game of alters. May the best secretary win. But what of the priest, what about his views? What if he wants a new secretary? What if he is tired of secretaries? What if he wants a transfer from the parish. What is the priest to do? These questions will be answered in season two coming soon. 
… To Be Continued ….

When Education Sucks

January 8, 2015

When I received my A-Level results, most people were excited on my behalf but I was the least excited. I had seen my desired career as an IT expert vanish in thin air. I was very sure that though my Dad had let me choose what course to fill for on my JAB he wasn’t going to give me that luxury again, I had refused to fill law even as my fourth choice. So now I had blown my chances, and dream by not getting the full points. I remember proposing to resit A-Level just to ensure that I would get the right course for me but boy oh boy however convincing I was the only answer I got was, the money is mine so why bother. And I remember my cousin brother reprimanded me for being so short sighted and narrow minded, Law is the best course he said.

Well to cut the story short, I applied for BLAW hoping beyond hope that I wouldn’t be admitted, I actually only applied to MUK, though “they” wanted be to try all the available options. Well I was admitted and I didnot disappoint … not that I didnot have my share of fun while at campus and Lumumba hall.
I had now become a lawyer, by the way I have never admired those people but alas I was now one of them.

I was to proceed to the next step and unfortunately some thing called pre-entry had been introduced, WHY I don’t need to know. I was actually too relaxed whilst my friends were too hard on the books and I remember one of my Very good friend GBHer said to me “we shall miss not having you with us at the Center”. Hey! it struck me that I could miss out on proceeding with my uni friends in the academic struggle. So I hit the road running AGAIN. However I convinced myself that even if I don’t get admitted I still have time to switch to my beloved IT or I could join the music industry, all it takes is shouting out words, or I could spin some disks.

Fortunately I was admitted at the LDC, real roasting, it was. I say of during my time at the center I hated the fact that I had signed up for it. And lo and behold, the final exams came out “not so good”. Several thoughts started running through my head, why not do an MBA or Journalism or IT and leave this profession once and for all…. I passed, thank God and was finally awarded the Bar course Diploma(PG Dip L.P). This time round I felt I should go to Binaisa grounds, Law Development Centre Kampala for the grad (I had refused to attend the grad at Freedom Square, Makerere University. Enough with the schooling stuff.

The really sucking begins after school, when you realise that all that rosy stuff you were told about getting the best jobs, enough money and you know! living the good life was all lies. Am told it ended when the current gov’t violently grabbed power, destroying all the industries, ransacking the treasury, leave alone rendering the industrial city a ghost town…. blah blah blah. Its not that the jobs, and the money run out in the country, no not at all, they all are there but in reserve. I have always wondered why a person can make over twenty job applications and they are not called to a single interview? Not that their marks are pathetic or what, but job advertising has become just that a technicality, a by-the-way, mere commercial puff, just a cover up. well I do believe that some jobs are still given on merit but even then there still has to be a little technical know who or a carpet interview or something of the sort.

SO WHY DOES ONE HAVE TO SPEND OVER TWENTY YEARS IN SCHOOL? they don’t teach experience in school… do they? But then much as education in Uganda sucks, going to school must have been the best thing to have ever happened to me, am at least able to communicate intelligibly and that is worth more than any thing the world can offer.

PLEASE for those still in school, love school, keep in school and work extra harder. Life is such a bitch and even the technical-know-who can only favour the educated.
I was wondering, JUST WONDERING what if I had landed the best job soon after scholl, would I really think that education in Uganda sucks OR CARE ABOUT THE THOUSANDS OF UNEMPLOYED YOUTH. Actually I do believe and firmly so! that education in Uganda doesn’t suck at all only that the system has failed it. There will come a time I believe when the efforts we put in our schooling will be rewarded abundantly. Education doesn’t suck Does it? Unless if you are not educated, not that your opinion will matter though. Friend in the struggle keep the hope alive and your spirits high at least do it for the health reasons.

I think she is hot!!

January 8, 2015

You are a young man probably with reasonable wealth and still unmarried, you have this sexy tempting house girl throwing her curves in front of you… the temptation to adventure some times even keeps you awake at night, given that she sleeps in the room across. should I should I not, “mire miro omururo, nchwere nchwere obunuzi”. You know that you can get casual, hot free sex from her just by mere expression of interest it doesn’t get simpler than than.

I know that many a man w’d fall into such temptation without a second thought, atleast every hot-blooded bachelor. But how about the cost of such illicit romance; loss of respect, unwanted pregnancies, or even an unwanted marriage. You know temptation presents itself as blissful, so sweet & incredibly free of risk…. But like they say not all that glitters is gold.

You are a young graduate with so many dreams but slowly losing hope, all of a sudden u get wind of some easy money to make… Did they say easy money? You just cannot believe how lucky you just got… blah blah blah….

Many a young person are faced with e’ temptation to sell their soul and conscience for worldly pleasures, so what would you do? Refuse to join those who are in “things” & remain jobless & poor, Or join the bandwagon of the corrupt oppressors?
Am sorry 2 say but i have no respect 4 all the young educated Ugandans have sold their soul(s) to the devil, who know very well that the political system they support is so stale and rotten, but shamelessly insist on defending it. You are worse than the Amins of this world coz unlike them you ought 2 have acquired some values moral or otherwise, from school. Your greed clouds your judgment. Its not too late though…. FOR GOD & MY COUNTRY.

Mish Mash Uganda: A fusion of arrogance and plain stupidity

January 8, 2015

Allan's Wordy World

Although I work in Rwanda as a freelance writer/journalist, I regularly return to Uganda to visit my family and friends or to attend to different social of work related engagements. .

The seventh day of the month of June found me in Kampala. I received a text message from a friend, Moses Serugo who asked whether I could make it to town for a brief meeting with a PR friend of his. I responded in the affirmative and quickly set off for the city centre.

We met at around 10am and set off to meet his friend who works in Kololo. After the meeting, I asked Moses to accompany me to Mish Mash, an arts-themed club located on plot 28, Acacia avenue. I’d been told that I could buy some nice T-Shirtsfrom their crafts shop.

The shirt that I wanted to buy from the craft shop at Mish…

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